The question took me by surprise.
"Do you know of groomers?"
At first, my mind went to pet groomers, those kind souls who brush out tangled fur, trim nails, and make dogs look adorable. But I had a feeling that wasn’t what they meant. There was a weight to their voice, a shadow in their eyes.
And then it hit me.
They were talking about the other kind of groomers. The ones we don’t want to think about. The ones who don’t carry clippers and shampoo but instead carry manipulation, deceit, and harm.
The Subtle, Sinister Art of Grooming
Grooming isn’t just a word; it’s a process, a calculated effort to gain trust and control over someone most often a child or vulnerable individual. 
It starts subtly, so subtly that the victim may not even realize it’s happening.
It could be a teacher who gives special attention, a neighbor who always has just the right gifts, or an online friend who really gets you when no one else does. Groomers are patient. They play the long game. They don’t rush.
At first, they are kind. They listen. They offer support, little favors, and compliments. They make their target feel safe, special, chosen.
And then, slowly, the shift begins.
Maybe a secret here, a rule bent there. A small test of trust. They create a world where only they truly understand the victim. And once that bond is strong, they push boundaries: sometimes emotionally, sometimes physically.
It’s insidious because, to the victim, it doesn’t feel like danger. It feels like love. Like care. Like friendship. Until it’s too late.
Recognizing the Signs
So, do I know of groomers? Not personally. But I know how they operate. I know the red flags:
Excessive Attention:
Do they single someone out, always making them feel extra special?
Gift Giving:
Are they constantly showering them with presents, often with the expectation of secrecy?
They like secrecy:
Do they encourage their target to keep secrets or mistrust family and friends? Definitely, yes.
Overstepping Boundaries:
Do they blur the lines between appropriate and inappropriate behavior?
How We Protect Ourselves and Others
📍The best defense is awareness. Talking about it. Recognizing it. Calling it out.
📍We need to teach children (and even adults) that not all kindness comes from a good place. That secrecy, especially with an older or more powerful figure, is often a dangerous game.
📍And most importantly, we need to listen.
Because silence is what groomers count on.
So yes, I know of groomers. Maybe not by name. Maybe not in my own life. But I know their tactics, and now, so do you.
And that? That could make all the difference.
